If your domestic helper has been taking care of your child ever since he was a little baby, it is obvious that he must absolutely adore her. Naturally, she has been like a second mother to him and loves and cares for him as much as you do. In such a scenario, when your kid is so attached to her, the departure of your domestic helper can have an adverse effect on your child and his physical health. Losing someone he is close to, especially a loved one who has showered him with affection all his life can be a difficult situation for your kid to deal with. If he finds himself unable to express his pain and loneliness, it might also affect his mental well-being. Helper leaving is not an easy situation!
Therefore, it is of utmost important that you make sure that he copes with the helper leaving and the changes that will follow in an ideal and appropriate manner. The best way is to give him an emotional outlet to express his feelings but to also create an atmosphere that helps him to move on.
Here are a few tips which will guide you to help your child deal with the parting and be strong through the crisis:
Talk to your Child
Many parents think it is good idea to lie to their child or hide the information from him. However, this will only make things easier for you and not your child. If you want to help your child, you will have to confront him. Tell your child the truth, and tell it to him in advance. The right time to break the news to him is at least two to three weeks before your domestic helper has to leave. Do not tell him too early, as the waiting period before she actually leaves will make him impatient. And do not tell him too late, as that will not give him enough time to get used to the news. Give him ample amount of time to accept the news and adapt to adjustments that will happen in his life once she leaves.
Helper Leaving? Make it Good News
Definitely, your domestic helper must have a good reason to leave and the resignation is a new challenge for your family. Mostly domestic helpers leave jobs they have been doing for several years when they are getting married and are moving to another city. Tell your child the reason for which the helper needs to leave the job, and tell him that he should be delighted for her. This is significant because if you break the news to him without telling him the reason, he might think it is his fault. He may get the idea that Auntie is leaving because of something he did wrong or because she does not like him anymore.
After you tell him the reason, see how he reacts and then act accordingly. He might take the news pretty well, and be excited at the thought of his Auntie getting married. If this is the case, you are lucky. However, if he behaves the way you feared he might, and starts crying, calm him down. Give him a hug, a chocolate and assure him that everything will be fine. Tell him that he is a “big boy” and is now old enough to take care of himself.
Next, make him understand that getting married is a fantastic thing for his Auntie, and therefore, he should be happy for her instead of crying and being sad. To make things easier for him, you can ask him to make a wedding or a departure gift for your helper. This will keep him occupied until the domestic helper leaves, and he will also enjoy making present for her himself. Remember to not make any false promises that cannot be fulfilled, like telling him that his Auntie will come visit him every month. This might not be possible for your helper, and even if it is, keep in mind that she is getting married and will have a different life.
Give him Time to Say Goodbye
Give him all the time he needs to say goodbye properly to his Auntie. Do not hurry up with their farewell, as your child needs to sure there is nothing incomplete left for him to do with the helper. Give them time to complete all their games, their story books, and assist your domestic helper in fulfilling any promises that she might have made with your kid. Make sure all of this is done before she leaves.
If you want to distract your child from thinking about time when his Auntie will leave him, throw a going away party for your helper and get your child to help in the preparations. After all, the domestic helper has become a part of your family by now and deserves a memorable farewell. This will keep him busy and will ensure that he enjoys himself.
Do not take your child to the airport to say goodbye to your domestic helper. Seeing his Auntie actually leave will be too difficult for him to handle, and he might start crying and throwing tantrums on the airport, thus creating a huge scene. Ensure that his goodbye hugs and kisses are finished a day before the day she leaves.
Prepare the Arrival of your New Helper
You are now managing the departure of your nanny and at the same time, you are looking for a new helper! When you will start to interview some candidates, think to introduce them to your kids. This is a good way to check and prepare your kids.
Following the above tips will make separation from his Auntie much easier for your child. You can make preparations for keeping your child in touch with the helper by phone, if she agrees. But do not extend the connection too much as it might mean that your child will not move on, and won’t welcome the new helper.